#1The Monologue
Meta reported earnings today and raised its AI spending floor to a hundred and thirty-five billion dollars, while also creating a brand new class of non-voting stock. So investors get to keep paying for it — they just don't get to say anything about it. Re: Fortune — Meta Q3 earnings, capex, Muse
The World Series is set: the Milwaukee Brewers versus the Tampa Bay Rays. Neither franchise has ever won one. Milwaukee hasn't been to a World Series since 1982 — so somewhere in Wisconsin there's a man who has been holding the same beer for forty-four years. Re: Yahoo Sports — 2026 World Series preview
And Nvidia unveiled its newest AI infrastructure design at its conference in Berlin — a modular data center system that reportedly resembles a shipping container. The future of human intelligence has arrived, and it has the exterior styling of a thing that falls off a boat. Re: Tech Startups — Tech News Today, October 21, 2026
An exotic green bird — likely a parrot — flew through an open door into Terminal 5 at Chicago O'Hare, perched on travelers' heads and luggage, and pecked at anyone who tried to grab it. A janitor eventually captured it with her shirt and took it to a veterinarian.
Staff at Mitchell Memorial Forest in Cleves, Ohio found a full-grown emu wandering the mountain bike trail on Monday. The bird, named Eddie, had escaped a neighbor's property over the weekend and was returned home safely.
Circuit of the Americas and bootmaker Tecovas unveiled a fiberglass cowboy hat measuring 47 feet long and 17 feet tall, certified by a Guinness World Records adjudicator ahead of this weekend's Formula 1 race. There is a fully operational bar underneath it.
#5Meanwhile, In Satire
'Druid Loving This Cloak Weather' — The Onion, https://theonion.com/druid-loving-this-cloak-weather/
'Neighborhood Children Woefully Unprepared For Local Man Who Chooses Trick Over Treat' — The Babylon Bee, https://babylonbee.com/news/neighborhood-children-woefully-unprepared-for-local-man-who-chooses-trick-over-treat
'Man eliminates final equipment-related excuse for being terrible at golf' — NewsThump, https://newsthump.com/2026/10/21/man-eliminates-final-equipment-related-excuse-for-being-terrible-at-golf/
'Opinion: Anyone Who Would Trust Their Life to a Tesla Flying Car Absolutely Should' — The Hard Times, https://thehardtimes.net/blog/opinion-anyone-who-would-trust-their-life-to-a-tesla-flying-car-absolutely-should/
A viral video from a London park shows two men in full suits of armor charging each other with lances while riding rented Lime e-bikes, drawing hundreds of spectators. Lime issued a formal statement clarifying that its bikes are "not for jousting."
#7The Groaner
I asked the librarian if she had any books on paranoia. She leaned in and whispered — they're right behind you.
